Korean Novelist * Lee Oisoo's Twitter Translations

70.One (everyday) thing/invention you can’t live without?-2MB : Mac, MoonHaSaeng, Books.
Q: Everyday items you can’t live without?
A: 2MB: Mac*, MoonHaSaeng**, Books.

*Mac: Refers to Mac computers manufactured by Apple Computer, Inc. Oisoo is a power user of both PCs and Mac computers.
**MoonHaSaeng: Meaning ‘apprentice’ in Korean.

69. 면접시 ‘전철에서 나이 많으신 할머니로부터 아무 이유도 없이 따귀를 맞았을 때 어떻게 대처할 것인가’ 모범답안-오해가 있으면 오해를 풀고, 할머니가 정상인이 아닐 경우에는 댁까지 무사히 돌아가실 수 있도록 조처해 드린다.
Q: The model answer for question no. 59: If you had to select suitable people of talent through an interview, on what sort of question would you base your choices?
A: If there exist any misunderstandings, I will sort them out, and if the old woman is abnormal, I will manage to get her home safely.

68.젊고 예쁘고 성격 또한 선생님이 이상으로 생각하는 성격의 소유자가 결혼하자고 하면-일단 그분께 정신감정을 권유해 드리겠습니다.
Q: If a beautiful young woman who also has what you think to be the ideal personality wants to marry you?
A: I would first persuade her to undertake psychological consultation.

67.추천 동화책은-‘꽃들에게 희망을’.
Q: A recommended fairy tale book?
A: “Hope for the Flowers” by Trina Paulus.

66.게으름으로 인해 중요한 일은 차일피일 미루는 녀석에게 따끔히 한마디 해주신다면-인류사 이래로 게으름으로 성공한 사람은 단 한 명도 없습니다.
Q: A single, sharp word for a fellow who daily postpones important things out of laziness?
A: Never has a successful person existed due to laziness in all the history of humankind.

65.왜 나이가 들수록 자신의 신념과 의지를 굽히며 살게 되는 걸까요-비굴해서가 아니라 너그러워서라고 생각해 주시기 바랍니다.
Q: Why would people live submitting their own conviction and volition as they get older?
A: Think not that this is out of servility but rather of magnanimity.

64.얼떨결에 한방 먹고 뒤늦게 돌아서니 억울한데 이미 상대는 사라진 후라면 어떻게 하시나요-혼잣소리로 나지막히 아, 쉬파, 라고 중얼거린다.
Q: In the confusion of the moment, you were suddenly victimized. You only felt wronged upon looking back much too late and you notice that the perpetrator has already since disappeared. What would you do?
A: In a rather low soliloquy I would mutter, “Ah, Shit!”

63.말 한마디 할 때도 몇십번씩 생각을 고쳐야 하는 소심증을 극복하는 방법-말을 하지 마시고 글로 써서 전달하세요.
Q: The way to overcome symptoms of timidity; I have to turn thoughts over several times even when just saying a single word?
A: Do not speak and just communicate through writing.

62.어떤 이유로든 지우고 싶은 선생님의 작품이 있으신가요-네티즌들이 함부로 짜깁기해서 내 이름을 앞세우고 떠돌아다니는 졸시들.
Q: Is there a work you want to wipe out by any means possible?
A: Poorly-written poems drifting on the internet that were rashly patched together by internet users and attached to my name.

61.이외수님 소설책이 낱장으로 뒷간에 걸려 있습니다. 소감 한 말씀-화장실의 초절정 진화가 이루어지다!
Q: Pages from your novels end up hanging in a toilet. A word on your impressions?
A: The ultra-zenith of the toilet’s evolution has been reached!

60.글이 생각대로 안 써질 때 대처하는 방법이 있나요-써질 때까지 물고 늘어집니다.
Q: When your writing is not going well, do you have a way to fix such a situation?
A: Until it goes well again, I hold on and keep at it.

59.인재를 뽑으셔야 할 때 면접에서 어떤 질문을 하셔서 가리시겠어요-전철에서 나이 많으신 할머니로부터 아무 이유도 없이 따귀를 맞았을 때 어떻게 대처할 것인가를 물어봅니다.
Q: If you had to select suitable people of talent through an interview, on what sort of question would you base your choices?
A: I would ask, “What would you do if an old woman were to slap you on the face for no reason on the subway?”

58.미저리 같은 여인네에게 잡혀가서 억지로 글을 써야 하는 상황이 생기면-미저리에 점 하나를 찍어서 머저리로 만든 다음 탈출합니다.
Q: If you faced a situation in which you were taken hostage by a woman like the antagonist of the movie ‘Misery’ and have to write something?
A: I would make a fool of her and then escape.

57.만일 누군가 당신에게 지구를 떠나라고 한다면 어떻게 답하시겠습니까-당신이 함께 가 준다면, 이라고 대답합니다.
Q: If somebody orders you to leave planet earth, what would your answer be?
A: I would say to him, “Only if you go with me.”

56.사람들에게 무시당하고 있다고 느낄 때 선생님은 어떻게 해야겠다고 생각하세요-까마귀 한 마리가 보름달을 가로지른다고 온 세상에 어둠이 오는 것은 아닙니다.
Q: When you feel slighted by others, what do you think you would do?
A: Even if a crow flies across a full moon, this does not mean that darkness will visit the entire world.

55.어차피 혼자 사는 세상이라는 말 어떻게 생각하시나요-어느 무인도인지 가르쳐 주세요. 구제해 드리러 가겠습니다^^
Q: What do you think of the expression: At any rate, a world dwelled by one person?
A: Which deserted island is this? Please do tell! I will go there to rescue this person.^^

54.바가지 긁힐 때 대처법-깨끗이 잘못을 시인하고 사과합니다.
Q: The way to solve your wife’s nagging at you?
A: I admit that it is completely my fault and apologize to my wife.

53.내가 정말 태어나길 잘했다고 생각하실 때는 언제신가요-내 작품을 읽고 불행과 슬픔을 극복했다는 독자들을 만났을 때
Q: When is it you think how good it is that you were born?
A: When I meet readers who overcame their unhappiness and sorrow after reading my works.

52.사모님이 ‘나 사랑해’ 라고 물으면 어떻게 대답하십니까-굳이 말을 해야 사랑하는 줄 아는 여자라면 벌써 집 나갔을 겁니다^^
Q: If your wife asks you, “Do you love me?”, what would you answer?
A: If she is a person who knows that I love her only after I strongly express it to her, she would have already walked out of my house.^^

51.선생님은 성인용품에 대해서 어떻게 생각하시나요-제품을 직접 사용해 보고 말씀드리겠습니다. 제 주소는… 히히히.
Q: What do you think of sex toys?
A: Directly after using them, I’ll let you know. My address is….HeeHeeHee.